Dante Didn't Get It

Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights, I work 3rd shift at Arby's to bring in some extra cash.

The Arby's I work at is attached to a "One Stop" convenient store/gas station.


Last Saturday, I went over to the store to get some Lotto Tickets. That's when I first saw the new guy getting trained to work thirds there.


And I swear to the gawds, he looks exactly like Dante Hicks from the Clerks movies.


I went back over to Arby's and the boss and I had a good laugh about the similarities.


The other night, I went in for my Thursday shift. "Dante" was working over at the gas station, which was odd, cause Nancy usually worked thirds on Thursdays.


I decided to have a little fun.



I went over to him and told him to say "I'm not even supposed to be here today."


He said, "How did you know I got called in."


I said, " Since Nancy wasn't here, I just kinda figured, anyway say it."

He says, "Ok. I'm not supposed to be here today."


But he didn't say it in that whiny pitch...but you take what you can get I guess.


Later on, I walk back to the drinks and yell out to him, "Hey man, let me get a Gatorade!"

He says, "You have to pay for it."

I say, "No. You have to say 'If I give you a Gatorade, then I have to give everybody a Gatorade."


He says, "But you are the only one in here."

I say. "Nevermind."



Later, I go up to the counter and ask him if he has a girlfriend.

He says yes.



I ask him, "Did she suck 37 dicks?"


He then takes a swing at me.


Thanks to my cat-like reflexes, I ninja dodge out of the way.

He yells, "Don't be talking shit about my girlfriend!"


I say, "Don't you get it dude? This is all from Clerks. You've seen it."

He says, "No, I haven't."

I say, "You mean to tell me, that you work in a convenient store, you look like Dante Hicks, and you've never seen Clerks."

He says, "That's right".

I say, "That's pathetic dude. Give me your girl's address. I go over there and give her number 38."

He then attempts to jump over the counter. However, he gets his foot caught on the ledge and falls face first to the floor.

I laughed and went back to work.



Last night, when I went in, I found out the owner of the convenient store saw the tape of him trying to punch me and him trying to badass bounce over the counter. He got canned.


And he wasn't even supposed to be there that day.

American Idol

IMDB...American Idol Boards:


Last night, I watched the idol with my 9 year old daughter last night. Her mother and I have been separated for some time now, so I usually get my kid for the weekends.

Well, my ex had to go out of town for some business thing, so I got to have my daughter for the night last night.

Knowing my daughter, I know she liked American Idol. Although I hadn't spoken with her about the Idol since the new season started, I was very excited for the chance to get to watch an episode with her.


As we watched, Sanjaya started to sing. My daughter turns to me and says, "I hope he wins, he's my favorite."


Now, before you read this next part, you should be aware that I love my daughter to death and would stop the world for her if she asked me too.


But when she said she wanted Sanjaya to win, something in me snapped.

I don't know what it was, maybe it was the fact that I hate the Sanjaya and had wished that his hot sister made it through and not him, maybe it was the fact that I expected better judgment from my daughter, I don't know.

But when she said that, I got up and slapped her and sent her to her room.


This morning, I got her ready for school. Her mother was back in time to pick her up. Her mother asked her what was wrong, as my daughter is usually chirpy in the morning.

My daughter said nothing, and they went off to school.


An hour later, I got the call from my ex.


She asked, "Did you slap our daughter?'

I said, "yes, but she deserved it."

Then my ex, being the b-i-t-c-h that she is, went off on a rant.

To make a long rant short, she basically said that I would not be getting my daughter on the weekends and that she would be taking me to court for full custody.



Way to go Sanjaya, your terrible singing has ruined a family.