Never Give Rides To Co-Workers
The last time I offered a ride to coworkers...one of them touched my radio and I gave them a broken nose. They learned their lesson.
Tonight, I had to teach some manners to yet another coworker.
She is a big woman, the kind of woman that redneck toothless losers seem to love, and she has...well had, is probably the case now, a crush on me.
Now, the last thing I would ever want to do is hurt another human beings feelings....so I have never given her any sign that I would be interested into plowing into her mountainous flesh.
Tonight, she thought she might actually have me cornered. We both got off of work at the same time and she offered me this proposal:
She would give me 10 dollars if I could drive her up to Wal-Mart, but first I had to drive her home so she could change clothes.
She also told me she would be meeting a friend up there, so I wouldn't have to take her back home.
Now, of course, I knew this was just a ploy to spend time with me. If she were meeting her friend up at Wal-Mart, why couldn't her friend just pick her up at work.
Now, I would have never decided to do this, if the money offer wasn't involved.
Several minutes of listening to this broad trying to impress me would be worth 10 bucks...so I accepted.
When we both got off of work, we got into my jeep.
In an effort to quell any attempt by her to start a conversation, I immediately turned on the stereo.
Of course, she was a rude cow and talked over the stereo. But this wasn't the rudest part.
No big deal, I drowned her out.
Now, we get to her house, she gives me the ten and says she'll be back out in a few minutes.
And, just like a typical woman, it takes her forever to change clothes.
Actually, I don't know how long it took, because after ten minutes of waiting, I took off without her.
And went to Wal-Mart to buy a DVD, hoping for another chance encounter with an attractive woman.
Funny thing, my coworkers friend, whom happened to know me, saw me and asked where she was.
Apparently this plan to have me be her chauffeur was planned out in advanced.
And the second after I get done telling the friend what I did, the friend receives "You have a call at the front desk" announcement over the intercom.
Tonight, I had to teach some manners to yet another coworker.
She is a big woman, the kind of woman that redneck toothless losers seem to love, and she has...well had, is probably the case now, a crush on me.
Now, the last thing I would ever want to do is hurt another human beings feelings....so I have never given her any sign that I would be interested into plowing into her mountainous flesh.
Tonight, she thought she might actually have me cornered. We both got off of work at the same time and she offered me this proposal:
She would give me 10 dollars if I could drive her up to Wal-Mart, but first I had to drive her home so she could change clothes.
She also told me she would be meeting a friend up there, so I wouldn't have to take her back home.
Now, of course, I knew this was just a ploy to spend time with me. If she were meeting her friend up at Wal-Mart, why couldn't her friend just pick her up at work.
Now, I would have never decided to do this, if the money offer wasn't involved.
Several minutes of listening to this broad trying to impress me would be worth 10 bucks...so I accepted.
When we both got off of work, we got into my jeep.
In an effort to quell any attempt by her to start a conversation, I immediately turned on the stereo.
Of course, she was a rude cow and talked over the stereo. But this wasn't the rudest part.
No big deal, I drowned her out.
Now, we get to her house, she gives me the ten and says she'll be back out in a few minutes.
And, just like a typical woman, it takes her forever to change clothes.
Actually, I don't know how long it took, because after ten minutes of waiting, I took off without her.
And went to Wal-Mart to buy a DVD, hoping for another chance encounter with an attractive woman.
Funny thing, my coworkers friend, whom happened to know me, saw me and asked where she was.
Apparently this plan to have me be her chauffeur was planned out in advanced.
And the second after I get done telling the friend what I did, the friend receives "You have a call at the front desk" announcement over the intercom.
posted by Virtual Satyr at
11:37 PM
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